September 28th.....

Durga puja this year is scheduled way too ahead than usual...instead of the usual 3rd week of october thingy its a end sep stuff this time...Maa & mamam are in bombay with me this year ....primarily to run away frm the hullaboo of kolkata durga puja....too many memories of baba to erase n ignore during these special festivities that keeps floating on the surface of our awareness...sucha weird feel this time...the first Durga puja without baba...anyways....

Had a nice audition for a new anurag kashyap ( a dear friend) film...hope i get it...a start to finish 45 days schedule in october...this project can lead me to Maniratnam's next project Lajjo with Aamir n Kareena...did a good job in the audition...rest is all whatever's in store for me....

Fountainhead continues to grip me with apt attention...someone said it gives one a new route of self introspection...i cant agree any more to that....

The rest of the year is gonna be way too crucial for me in terms of personal & professional changes in life...a weird vibe that keeps giving me alert popups in my brain cells...and thankfully its not a eerie feel...professionally i foresee myself being a part of some very ambitious / my kinda film projects...and the symptoms seem to grow with every passing day...on a personal level also i somehow get a feel of a mild transformation of my inner self that has just set in...which is primarily an influence of people i met in the recent past...they are continously helping me look into myself with very different perspectives...cant cease to feel grateful every night before crashing....hope it continues....hey is it goin way beyond ? don worry...u'll know what i mean..soon...even i'll know what i mean...very soon....cheers....

September 24th '2006

Its been a while that i was travelling in a train back frm calcutta to bombay...& i quite enjoyed the ride...probably gave me the opportunity to be with myself for that long at a stretch after a long time...had intermittent self introspections conducted which gave varied/ interesting / some times confusing / some times crystal clear focus on my life and the way things stand as on right now...thinking about it, i dont really get to do that a hell lot in the recent past...

Two married women in their late forties were travelling with me sitting in my opp berth...quite a reasonably boring company..all they were interested in was to make sure that i adjust my seating to their convenience and i obliged...not with a sence of sacrifice but to be away frm ppl who dont even smile..ppl with dead still faces with zero emotions...anyways, y the hell am i talkin abt them ? thankfully they got down at nagpur...two elderly gentlemen came in those berths and were refreshingly different...watever !!

What saved a serious boredome frm setting in was FOUNTAINHEAD...had heard so much abt it all my life,but never really gotta chance to lay my hands on it...am quite thankful to one "miss interesting" who was too kind to lend me the book...am gonna come to her topic in some time...in some days...coz there's a lot to talk about...ther's a lot of mystery in her that i feel like exloring...and she thinks, "the day u stop exploring, u stop growing"...which is dead true...

Fountainhed pulled me thru the journey...Howard Raoark / Peter Keating /Cameron /Guy Francon were names clogging my mind while i got down at Dadar around 1am...reached home around 2am to find out electricity in my house was disconnected becoz of non payment of bills :) an errand i gotta run the next morning frst thing...opened the windows of my living room and lay on the thick matress that has gathered dust over the last 19 days i wasnt in...sleep walked in late..really late...was browsing thru events that happened during my stay in calcutta...an overall very interesting sojourn,i must say...stuffed with work (professional / personal)..and meeting ppl...very interesting and attractive ppl whom i met just by accident....reminds me of someone who said, dont we live life, just by chance ? see ya soon...